On Opening & Closing: Lessons From a Prayer Plant
My daughter and I each have a prayer plant. If you are unfamiliar with these beauties, I’d recommend you wander into your closest nursery and look for Calatheas (their scientific name) to get acquainted. What I find so magical about these plants is that they open and close at the beginning and end of each day. Having prayer plants in our house has opened me up to the living, moving energy that plants possess.
My prayer plant is named Rosie because she has a dark rose-colored underside to each of her leaves and dark rose-colored veins. Every few weeks, she surprises me with a new, tightly-rolled leaf in her center that gradually unfolds when I’m not looking until… voila! A bright, broad new leaf is born. Seeing her gently open all of her leaves each morning reminds me to be gentle with myself and my own opening process.
I find that I open most naturally with a quiet morning routine: make my bed as I roll out of it, putter into the kitchen where I make tea, then sit in the same spot for my morning meditation in front of the rising sun. After meditation, I sip my tea, listen to peaceful music, read and journal. I don’t feel like I am mentally open and ready to face the world until I’ve gone through this process. If I skip a step or get interrupted, I have to reset, breathe deeply and begin to open my mind and heart again. Just as Rosie does not pop open dramatically, I do not start my day with a jolt. I trust the opening will happen, and the more I allow it to take place instead of forcing myself, the more I appreciate the life I live. While I love a hard workout to get me pumped for the day, I get much more out of it after I’ve gently opened up.
So many of us are tempted to turn right to our phones upon waking and open a device instead of our own being. Despite technology’s relatively recent role in making us feel like we will be most connected when we are up at all hours working, interacting, and watching all that comes across our screens, this actually detaches us from our source. We are a part of nature. We are meant to rise with the sun and rest when the sun rests, to pay attention to and abide by our natural circadian rhythm. There are numerous health studies coming out about the benefits of following our circadian rhythm. For any who are interested, I recommend Andrew Huberman’s podcast: Huberman Lab. He interviews specialists in areas of sleep, exercise, nutrition, neuroscience and more.
One of the simple ways I listen to and follow my own circadian rhythm is to make sure I am up (and open!), out walking my dog around our neighborhood as early as possible once the sun is up for at least 10 minutes. According to Huberman, anytime before 10am will help you set your internal circadian clock for the day. It doesn’t just set my internal clock physically though; it actually makes me feel happier and closer to nature for the entire day. I intentionally don’t put in earbuds because I want to hear all the sounds of the birds, my neighbors rising, my dog panting and plodding along. I want to be as present as possible at the beginning of the day to open in such a way that I am fully awake and alert.
Another way of looking at openness both personally and professionally is examining how open we are to new ideas and opportunities. Some people are naturally high in openness, while others are low. The Big 5 personality test shows how high you are in openness (one of the big five traits measured). I scored very high in openness, which feels true to my nature. This is the primary area of creativity, artistic interest and intelligence. People who are high in openness are passionate learners and are constantly growing and acquiring new skills and knowledge. They love exploring complex, abstract ideas and tackling multi-dimensional problems. Because they are always thinking up new ways to do things, they thrive in creative, changing environments.
If you are naturally high in openness, it’s important to seek out opportunities where your desire for learning and problem-solving are valued (people high in openness are often great entrepreneurs). If you are low in openness, you’ll thrive in environments where consistency, routines and predictability are valued. In either case, there are ways to increase or temper your openness if you want to. As a very open person, I’m all about valuing and increasing openness through new experiences, yet I respect that there is also a need for people who are good at creating and holding boundaries, sticking to a system and maintaining consistency.
The natural opposite of opening is closing. Whether you are high, low or average in openness, you will need to close to recharge on a regular basis. Even those of us high in openness can only remain open for so long before we need to turn inward, like Rosie. Every night she closes up her leaves. They physically move upward into a point, hidden away from the outside world, where she rests until the sun rises again the next morning.
“How can we access pleasure & joy & liberation if we’re too tired to experience it?”
-Tricia Hersey of The Nap Ministry
Tricia Hersey of The Nap Ministry titled her manifesto, Rest is Resistance. Rosie demonstrates this by resisting gravity to close her leaves each night. Our grind culture is so caught up in pushing, achieving, and accumulating, that it requires conscious resistance for most of us to actually rest. The reality is that we are actually more effective in our active, open moments when we have rested well. And vice versa - we rest more soundly when we have been fully open and given our all to our work, our family, our life throughout the day.
If you are like me, it may feel difficult to prioritize rest because you are so driven and excited about all there is to do and learn, all the people out there to meet and help. However, I promise you will make a bigger difference and enjoy your work and life more if you have recharged with a good rest. I am still fine-tuning my closing routine, however, one thing I know I do that works is turning off all screens in my house at 9pm. I plug my phone in (outside my bedroom) and don’t look at it after that time (barring an emergency). This way, I give myself permission to focus on my own winding down process: tucking my children in bed, preparing for bed myself, and reading.
Knowing I have this stop time for screens also helps me prioritize my time when I am working during the day with focused time blocks. I know I must get certain tasks done before 9pm, or they will have to wait until the next day. While my open self resists it, I actually see and feel the benefits of restricting my time. Turning off screens at 9pm is a way of resting my eyes, my mind and prioritizing my own well-being. The more you do it and feel the results, the easier it will be to form a habit of closing down each night.
There are times and seasons for all things. Even in a single day, there is a time for opening and a time for closing, as Rosie has shown me. When I gently caress her leaves to say good morning or good night as I walk by, I am connecting with the expanding and contracting power that lives within my own body, mind and spirit. I feel at one with nature for those brief moments, and I am grateful to be open enough to have learned these simple, yet profound, lessons from her, my precious prayer plant.
How do you open up to life each morning?
How do you close when you need to rest and rejuvenate?
