It’s Easy to Be Busy; It’s Hard to Be Still.
Last night I attended a breathwork session and found deep meaning in something the instructor said halfway through: “It’s easy to be busy, it’s hard to be still.” How true this is in our modern society where productivity is valued over rest! In terms of outward appearance and approval, being busy is easy because when a person is busy, they are perceived as worthy. Being still is hard because to the onlooker, there is no obvious way to judge how the still person is contributing or what value they bring. And from a purely mental standpoint, it is easy to be busy because it is the default of the mind: thinking, stewing, planning, analyzing, proving, contemplating, obsessing, worrying, inventing, theorizing. Being still is much harder mentally because it requires stepping back from the activity of the mind to be a quiet observer. It asks us to detach from our thoughts, let go of identifying with ego and simply be.
Both meditation and breathwork are practices that I have found help me to simply be. Although practices such as these are becoming better understood and valued in a broader way, I would argue they are not valued or promoted necessarily for the stillness they require or bring a person. They are valued (especially by companies) because data and measurements show that a person is more productive after doing these practices. This is not in itself a bad thing, however, I think we may be missing the point in our efforts to maximize productivity. Could stillness for the sake of stillness and the peace it brings be enough?
One of the reasons I think stillness is so hard and we prefer to be busy, is that when we are busy, there is no time or space to feel what we feel. Yet the only way to truly process and release feelings is to feel them. Busyness creates pent-up emotions with nowhere to go. However, when we balance the busyness with stillness, we give those feelings room to be felt, do the hard work of processing them and let them go. If we are uncomfortable with facing our feelings, it is no wonder stillness is so hard. While busyness involves a sense of control and holding on, stillness involves surrender and release. It can be scary to let go and be still, but in my experience, it is a fear worth facing.
Stillness is also beneficial because it creates space for creativity to expand and flourish. Those of us who do creative work know the value of doing nothing; it is that empty space that invites some of the best ideas to come rushing in. This came more naturally when we were children and were given more time to play and just be. Then when we became adults (or for many of us this began as young adults in school), the emphasis on productivity instilled a sense of shame around doing nothing or being still because it meant that we were not living up to others’ expectations of us. As a writer, I have had to release the pressure to be always busy and booked, and instead, embrace the moments of stillness as essential to my creative process. I believe finding a natural ebb and flow of stillness and busyness can help each of us do deeper, better work (that even feels like play) as well as find inner peace.
Being someone who has always loved mystery, wonder and standing in awe of the unknown, I have come to value stillness in my life in ways I didn’t before. For example, I have developed a morning meditation practice that requires stillness of me right after waking, and while not ever easy, it feels simpler to quiet the mind and connect with the divine and my higher Self in this early morning state. When I am still, I am at peace, and I can witness more clearly the people and events around me without attaching to them or taking them personally. This allows me to approach life with clear intention, purpose and joy instead of merely reacting to what comes my way. If you are new to meditation and looking for a tool to help, I find Insight Timer to be a great meditation app. While I have used their guided meditations and listened to their music or sleep sounds, I find the simple timer (and tracker) the best tool for my morning meditations. You could also use a simple kitchen, watch or phone timer. When it comes to stillness, simpler is better.
I am also hooked on breathwork for this reason. I simply show up with my mat, grab some blankets and a pillow and settle in to be guided. The breath is arguably the most powerful tool we have for stillness, and the beauty of it is that we carry it with us always. I attend sessions as frequently as I can, typically weekly, to reset my nervous system, release buried emotions and feel a natural high. There is nothing quite like breathing in flow to music with a room full of other humans. It has shown me that being still can happen, and is sometimes easier, in the midst of a community focused on the same goal. If the concept of breathwork is new to you and you’re curious about it, I’d encourage you to look up classes in your area. If you’re in the Phoenix area, the Breathe4Flow sessions are my favorite.
While meditation and breathwork are two helpful tools for achieving stillness, there are dozens of ways we can find stillness for ourselves. The key seems to be prioritizing it and making time for it. It may seem counterintuitive, but I find it necessary to schedule stillness into my busy life. This way, I know I will honor it and make time for it. Some other ways I find stillness in my life are through hiking and sitting atop a mountain peak, reading and pausing on a line that gives me chills to really soak in the words and meaning, petting or snuggling with my dog and cat and pausing at the end of a long day to give gratitude for all the good that I experienced. It is less about finding perfect stillness of mind or body, and more about honoring the pauses in life that create space for wonder to enter in.
What are your favorite ways to be still?
