A Seed Story
During a recent collaborative coaching call with a mentor, she showed the group pictures that represented different stages: seed, tree, spiral, growth. After jotting down a few words that came to mind upon looking at them, she asked us to write a small story for ourselves about what those images sparked in us. Here is what I wrote.
***
I realize now that I am in the seed stage of growth. I want to jump to being a tree, but that is not how natural growth happens. I am like a seed that has floated off of the tree I once was. I have landed, been buried and am now spiraling beautifully up, through earth, shedding and burning old patterns and habits as I grow. I must allow myself to grow, free of judgment, and trust the process. The seed does not doubt itself or question whether, when or how it will push through the soil and sprout. It just does. The goddess of my future self is looking over me as I grow - guiding me, encouraging me, and providing all the nourishment I need. I simply need to listen to Her.
***
As one of the other members of the group pointed out, it feels as though I am standing in the middle of my metaphor. I feel grounded, literally and figuratively. Solid. Held. And ever-growing and evolving. This concept of being a seed again, realizing we can grow fully into a tree and then transform into a new being once more, is both terrifying and emboldening. As my high school English teacher would have put it, it’s sublime. (Its synonyms include both awesome and awful.) Transformation is not for the faint of heart.
I think there is a somewhat unhealthy obsession in society today with reaching the end, meeting a goal, finishing the race, finding the one. Yet, in focusing only on the end, we miss the entire process it takes to get there. And by doing so, I think we miss the purpose of being. We are here to learn, grow and evolve. If you think you are here to get to the end, hit a goal, or be the best, you might find yourself sorely disappointed. That’s not to say those things can’t or won’t happen as you live your life, but meaning will be lost if they are the sole reason you do what you do. And the reality is that there is really no end, goals accomplished give way to new goals, and you may be the best for a time, but chances are high someone will come along and be better than you.
“It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
-Ursula K. Le Guin
There are pivotal moments in life in which we decide who we are becoming. This is shaped by myriad variables: habits, circumstances, environment, patterns, etc. However, we always have a choice, even if it is only to change our thinking. That is ultimately where true change begins anyway. Once we decide we are going to become someone new, float off the tree and become a seed again, we adopt the beginner’s mindset, open ourselves to learning and growing, and shed the old skin we once wore.
Part of shedding the old skin is accepting that we can change, that a new future lies ahead of us. Another part is committing to releasing old habits, behaviors and even connections that no longer serve the self we are becoming. This shedding can feel like the hardest part because it means letting go of an old identity. The ego may grab and play tug of war with you and your new self to test you. It feels safest in old, familiar identities that however limiting they may be, are known. The unknown is scary. Yet the only way to grow is to face the unknown and make it known. Experience is a great teacher.
A few ways I have embraced the unknown lately include:
Saying yes to meetings, calls, opportunities that feel good and true, even if the plan or path to get there is unclear
Acting before I feel ready (often getting started and moving makes me ready)
Trusting my own intuition and my own voice over the voices of others, especially if they are naysayers or not aligned with my purpose
The more I shed my old skin, or past beliefs, that no longer serve me, the freer I feel and the more open I am to learning new ways of being and doing things that align with my purpose. I shed them by identifying them when they pop into my consciousness, “Oh, hello, perfectionism, old belief. Thank you for serving me. You’re welcome to go into the lounge with the other old beliefs and relax.” I don’t invite old beliefs to my conference table of consciousness any longer (at least not consciously; I’m sure there are some that sneak in that I am still unaware of). Our old beliefs served us at some time in our life; they exist for a reason. However, we may have outgrown them, and it is helpful to cut the ties so we can nurture new beliefs that contribute to our evolution.
Who we are becoming is dynamic, not static. It is a process, not a product. A journey, not an end. It may morph and transition and even be unrecognizable to us as we grow. It requires new vision, new insight, and acceptance of change. If we are evolving the idea of who we are becoming, we are always growing. There is no end in sight. While this may feel unsatisfying to some who have been conditioned to achieve an end, I am at a point in my life where it feels liberating. The possibilities are endless, the process inspired.
One definition of inspire is “to breathe in,” which I have always loved, from the first moment I heard it. What are you inviting to inspire you? What are you breathing in? Is it life-giving? Life is growth, and it may feel painful, rewarding or a mixture of both. When I know I’m growing, it is usually both. Doing anything hard usually requires some level of pain, whether mental or physical. That’s why we call it work. And doing the hard work of growth means we will be rewarded. Isn’t it true that you feel more inspired and joyful just after you’ve gone through something really hard and made it to the other side?
The courage, inspiration and joy we gain from growth propels us forward to grow even further. Like the seed, we face significant resistance to growth daily, whether from within our own minds or from outside of ourselves. The beauty and progress comes from pushing through the resistance, trusting the process and patiently taking one small step, again and again. Eventually, we break through, face the light, and grow, until one day we find we have become the tree we once admired.
Who are you becoming today? What does growth mean to you?
